blanks
by Control Room
Summary: A companion piece for "shots". This is what happened in Ivan's perspective. For LightningCloud9000 on ao3.


Ivan stared at the mound of dirt in front of him. He didn't even like gardening, but hey! Edna uses up his supply of tomatoes far too often for his liking. Sorry, not Edna. Ed… Ed…. Ugh, screw it, Eddy. Ivan scowled, and threw the shovel he held away from him. He saw Eddy in his peripheral vision sneaking off with something in he- his hands, and he debated on chasing he- him. Why did he make that stupid bet with Samantha, William, and Henry? Henry made the most off of them, yet Samantha beat him at his own game. Ivan wryly smiled as he walked back into the ridiculous looking home of his, remembering the poker game they had played by the bets.

"Ya know, Ivy?" Henry hiccuped, face flushed from alcohol. He looked at the Russian over his cards. Ivan merely raised an eyebrow to signify he was listening. "I bet you wouldn't even be able to call Edward your son. In fact, I bet you didn't even know he converted to Judaism."

"What?!" Ivan coughed, choking on some of the brandy he just had. He pounded his chest and cleared his throat before he spoke. William snickered. "Well, I haven't spoken to her in awhile. Why are you supportive of her thinking she's a boy?"

"I used ta agree with you," Samantha sighed, fanning herself with her hand of cards. "Until my boy told me he was queer. It took me a long time, but I managed to accept him for who he is. Scott may be pan, but you know what? I look forward to him marrying whoever he wants, and if that person is a boy, good for him!"

"Good for Scotty or his future significant other?" William chuckled.

"Both."

"Speaking of which, since Scott broke his mask," Henry said with a smirk, "Vincent has been more open with his advances."

"Faggot of a son," William muttered, scowling. Henry smiled brightly. "Ugh. Can't stand Scott sometimes."

"And I can't stand Vincent sometimes," Samantha fired back with a dirty look. Henry laughed. "Whaddya laughing at, punk?"

"Well, sometimes I can't stand Edward," Henry giggled. Ivan let out a scream into his hands. "And it looks like ol' Ivy can't, either!"

"Sometimes I can't stand Charlie," Ivan said darkly, glaring at Henry, who's grin slowly faded. "Foolish mortal."

"Who are you calling a foolish mortal?!" Henry exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "I bet you wouldn't be able to accept that Edward is a boy!"

"Oh yeah?" William sneered, raising himself from his chair. "I bet you wouldn't be able to find your golden Freddy suit!"

"So we're talkin' 'bout the suits now, are we?" Samantha pouted, hands on her hips. "I bet you wouldn't be able to get Vincent to wear a suit to work!"

"And I bet that you all are fools," Ivan barked, attempting to calm them all down. "Deal?!"

"Deal!" They all agreed, shaking hands with each other, forming an odd square like shape.

"Erm, what do I have to do again?" Ivan asked. Henry smiled that stupid smile, the one he used when he knew he successfully tricked someone. "Boji moi…."

Ivan smiled to himself as he patted the dirt down around the last tomato plant. Nothing like a good day's work, and then a nice cup of steaming tea-

CRASH!

He leapt up, and spun in a circle to locate the source of the smash. He didn't need to, he knew exactly who made that sound, but he didn't know where.

"ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!"

He stared, confused, at Edna- echem, Edward's house. He thought that the sound of breaking glass was from one of his windows, but apparently not!

"AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

'What on earth was he screaming at?' Ivan wondered, then glanced across the street, nervous. Something wasn't right….

"MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

'That sounded a little muffled,' Ivan thought to himself, nervousness converting into anxiety and worry. 'Is something going on over there?'

Then there was silence. It made Ivan's anxiety worse than the screams. He… he had to go and figure out if Eddy was alright, it would kill him if he wasn't. Okay… one step at a time, one second each step….

One second, the first step.

This shouldn't be too hard, right?

Two seconds, the second step.

What if it is?

Three seconds, the third step.

What if he doesn't want to see you?

Four seconds, the fourth step.

What if you wouldn't be able to look at him?

Five seconds, the fifth step.

Halfway there… maybe a car will hit you?

Six seconds, the sixth step.

Like it hit Margo?

Seven seconds, the seventh step.

Almost at the front door, just the stairs left….

Eight seconds, the eighth step.

One foot in front of the other, almost there.

Nine seconds, the ninth step.

Was that crying?

Ten steps, the tenth step.

Could he even knock on the door?

He froze. He couldn't do it. After causing his… his son so much pain, he couldn't do it. He was a coward. He didn't stand up when Olivia was kidnapped, he didn't protest when Margo was hit, and he couldn't even accept his remaining family for who he was. F*ck it.

He closed his eyes tightly and knocked on the door. He knew he looked terrified, but he had good reason. He was worried. The door swung open roughly.

"Whaddaya want, huh?" Edward snapped at him. Ivan flinched back, but he didn't think Edward noticed. His accent was so similar to his mother's…. Eggs swallowed sharply, then opened the door a little wider. "Are you going ta come in or wha'?"

"Are... are you alright?" Ivan stuttered, avoiding looking at Edward in the eyes. "I mean, I heard screaming and…" he heard something dripping to the floor, and followed it with his eyes, then realized the source of the red liquid, he stared and pointed at Edward's arms in shock. "IS THAT BLOOD?!"

Edward glanced at his arms after a moment and shrugged.

"Boji moi, let's go get this cleaned up…" Ivan said as calmly as he could, feeling like he was going to vomit. Then he noticed the bottle in Edward's grip, and a wave of nausea rolled over him. "Are you drunk? How much of that bottle did you drink?"

"I jus' opened it, mate," Eggs chuckled with a delirious slur. Ivan felt his stomach lurch as he recognized the bottle as one of his own. "So, all of it? I prolly shouldn't've, but it's too late for that, ha!"

"Yop tvayu mat," Ivan muttered, shaking his head, holding in a scream of fear. Eggs giggled at the obscene language, and Ivan just felt worry, no humor. There was no humor in that laugh. He shrugged off the pressuring feeling. "Come on. Let's get you sobered and cleaned up."

Ivan walked in, attempting to locate the bathroom. Edward followed mutely. After opening a few doors with utter futility, he felt Edward grip his shoulder, tightly. He turned around and was just about to ask what was wrong, when Eggs slumped over him, passed out from exhaustion and alcohol.

"Ach, Eddy," Ivan sighed sadly, and lifted him up, holding him like how he used to when he fell asleep in Ivan and Margo's room. He carried him across the street back home. Home. Home was where the heart is, so…. Where was he going with this? He carried him to the bathroom, and gently set him in the tub. He grabbed a soft sponge, and ran warm water over it. He then went over his son's arms. There were other white lines under the blood, other scars tracing his arms, and Ivan knew where they came from now. Edward shifted in a dream, and Ivan saw the general discomfort etched into his features. "My poor son…."

Ivan paused at the words that came out of his own mouth. He applied disinfectant to the new cuts, and bandaged his arms. He picked Edward up, and took him to his old room. Nothing changed. It was the same as it was when Eddy left after their arguments got out of hand.

Ivan gently tucked him into his old bed, ruffling his hair, an affectionate gesture long forgotten. He slowly left the room, and took one last look at Edward before leaving. He gave a last melancholic smile, and closed the door.

Ivan woke up in his armchair, then remembered Edward. He leapt up, and began going up the stairs to check on him. He knocked on the door, but came in anyways.

Edward was awake, leaning against the headboard of his bed. Ivan paused awkwardly, then stepped forward.

"I, um." he cleared his throat, feeling guilty. He felt like he needed to explain. "I didn't want to leave you alone after you passed out, so I brought you to... my house. You're not being held hostage or anything, I just wanted to keep an eye on you."

Eggs only nodded, but slowly and sadly. Tears pricked his eyes sharply as the memories came in. Ivan swallowed and slowly came to the edge of the bed and sat down, fiddling with his thumbs nervously. Eddy pulled himself into a sitting position.

"I'm sorry," they said at the exact same time, then smiled sadly at each other, even as they started at each other in shock and amazement. Edward began to laugh, even as tears poured out of his eyes. Ivan also began laughing, laughing and crying. It wasn't perfect.

"Perfection doesn't exist!" Edward blurted between sobs of laughter. Ivan guffawed harder. Eggs cried harder. It wasn't perfect. But it was better. And better is all we can hope for. And maybe then, it'll be perfectly imperfect.


End file.
